Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
