my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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