he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
