i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
