if you like me you must not know who I am
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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