it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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