i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
