i barfeds in our rink
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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