u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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