i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
