I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
and you fell through a lawn chair
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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