I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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