So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Randomize
