just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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