I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize