U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
