i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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