If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
