you guys were way drunker than both of me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
