Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
