if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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