I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
