forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
