I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
