Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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