Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
