Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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