I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
we should paint friendship bongs
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