just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
