My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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