so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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