I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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