There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
