Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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