Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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