Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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