We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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