since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We need a shit load of segways right now
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
