My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
