For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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