I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
