they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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