I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
