Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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