are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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