Don't you send me to vm
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
