I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
