Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.

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  (816): I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins. http://tfl.nu/76g5
  Replies (8) Good night (2961) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  this beer tastes like vomit already

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  (352): this beer tastes like vomit already http://tfl.nu/3gdg
  Replies (11) Good night (562) Bad night (3239)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.

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  (304): I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language. http://tfl.nu/immq
  Replies (11) Good night (1482) Bad night (3688)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.

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  (914): my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person. http://tfl.nu/80cc
  Replies (41) Good night (5719) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart

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  (406): she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart http://tfl.nu/bwi5
  Replies (9) Good night (1616) Bad night (3692)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.

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  (250): At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here. http://tfl.nu/zp01
  Replies (7) Good night (804) Bad night (2245)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Can I have him when you're done?

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  (903): He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding (541): Can I have him when you're done? http://tfl.nu/4y2y
  Replies (14) Good night (3817) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.

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  (707): He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed. http://tfl.nu/sv05
  Replies (5) Good night (697) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.

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  (330): Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing. http://tfl.nu/k9wn
  Replies (9) Good night (1128) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.

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  (832): I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came. http://tfl.nu/1nw4
  Replies (8) Good night (897) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Is the party worth it?

  (512): View more from Texas

  I am drink. Beer pony and singing.

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  (805): Is the party worth it? (512): I am drink. Beer pony and singing. http://tfl.nu/lz1y
  Replies (2) Good night (1058) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.

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  (270): He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE. http://tfl.nu/8wqq
  Replies (4) Good night (786) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY

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  (971): HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY http://tfl.nu/i8rb
  Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication

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  (508): I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication http://tfl.nu/sp6h
  Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude

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  (315): Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude http://tfl.nu/8w6o
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (246)

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