I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.