Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  Where you at

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?

  (917): View more from New York City

  Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.

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  (917): Where you at (1-917): assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup? (917): Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed. http://tfl.nu/v1xe
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (2723)
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  (347): View more from New York

  We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job

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  (347): We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job http://tfl.nu/wtkj
  Replies (18) Good night (764) Bad night (4409)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.

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  (614): if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle? (1-614): i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you. http://tfl.nu/6cnp
  Replies (34) Good night (631) Bad night (3912)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.

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  (979): What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls. http://tfl.nu/5u5z
  Replies (23) Good night (939) Bad night (5339)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over

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  (704): we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over http://tfl.nu/0v4z
  Replies (14) Good night (4845) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth

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  (206): tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth http://tfl.nu/91m9
  Replies (16) Good night (1555) Bad night (3496)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight

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  (267): I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight http://tfl.nu/859p
  Replies (10) Good night (4164) Bad night (1019)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."

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  (603): U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite." http://tfl.nu/bn94
  Replies (6) Good night (3788) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win

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  (630): my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win http://tfl.nu/ctc5
  Replies (2) Good night (1252) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I have dibs on his crisis of faith.

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  (419): I have dibs on his crisis of faith. http://tfl.nu/qzr2
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (447)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.

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  (814): I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win. http://tfl.nu/livq
  Replies (8) Good night (866) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?

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  (773): Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT? http://tfl.nu/k7sq
  Replies (8) Good night (690) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum

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  (913): I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum http://tfl.nu/ad9i
  Replies (8) Good night (1147) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty

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  (386): I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty http://tfl.nu/i6ce
  Replies (3) Good night (531) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk

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  (323): Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk http://tfl.nu/mfv3
  Replies (6) Good night (371) Bad night (630)

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