Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.

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  (412): Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink. http://tfl.nu/ozhg
  Replies (3) Good night (1187) Bad night (661)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..

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  (517): dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min.. http://tfl.nu/cx5p
  Replies (2) Good night (2069) Bad night (840)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.

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  (978): I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism. http://tfl.nu/fmul
  Replies (15) Good night (5989) Bad night (1572)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....

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  (617): wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara..... http://tfl.nu/je0j
  Replies (17) Good night (5581) Bad night (1303)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.

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  (901): i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation. http://tfl.nu/cktw
  Replies (5) Good night (1433) Bad night (2611)
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  (619): View more from California

  Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem

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  (619): Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem http://tfl.nu/oy3i
  Replies (7) Good night (970) Bad night (1895)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?

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  (510): He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast? http://tfl.nu/9c24
  Replies (34) Good night (3878) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith

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  (705): I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith http://tfl.nu/hj9t
  Replies (3) Good night (1023) Bad night (858)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."

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  (512): I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy." http://tfl.nu/udmr
  Replies (15) Good night (1692) Bad night (676)
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  (559): View more from California

  He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year

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  (559): He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year http://tfl.nu/93v6
  Replies (8) Good night (1396) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.

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  (412): Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut. http://tfl.nu/ynt5
  Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (617)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.

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  (713): Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair. http://tfl.nu/2yyf
  Replies (8) Good night (522) Bad night (1250)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha

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  (304): Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha http://tfl.nu/xonb
  Replies (1) Good night (909) Bad night (485)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?

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  (503): Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle? http://tfl.nu/d4q1
  Replies (6) Good night (563) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.

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  (302): I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth. http://tfl.nu/icea
  Replies (0) Good night (210) Bad night (392)

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