one two three fourrrrnication!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies