U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
