I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
