no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
