she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
