Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
