I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
