Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
