I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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