Can i not drive my cunt home
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the day after is always just damage control
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Couch. On fire.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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