If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
