Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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